Pitas and Puke

I normally pack my lunch for work but since I have no groceries other than granola bars and a frozen soy cheese pizza, I decided yesterday was a buy lunch day. One of the neat things about where I work is in the spring and summer all of these food vendor carts park outside my building during lunch hours. I asked Diva if she wanted to venture out to the carts and purchase lunch with me...she did, and it was a lunch date.

Diva wanted to go to the My Big Fat Greek Lunch cart, which I was not opposed to because I like Greek food and my boss is Greek. How fitting. We found a spot in the sun and had a nice little picnic of gyros, pitas and grape leaves. A nice little picnic until Lush came along.

Diva was waving to someone and I look up to see a girl walking across the grass toward us. At first glance, I notice she has huge boobs. Second glance I notice her mouth is crooked. Third glance my jaw drops because she completely lays down in front of us exclaiming, "I'm so hungover, I think I really might puke." Um...OK?

Lush sits up, let's out a huge burp, then lays back down and proceeds to throw up in the grass right in front of Diva and I. I am appalled and absolutely disgusted. Disgusted because I just ate and appalled that this girl had the audacity to throw up 2 feet away from me. I understand that people come to work hungover, but that is why bathrooms exist...or garbage cans. I decided then and there I can never take this girl seriously, she would get no sympathy from me and I would be sure to embarrass her in any future encounters. Diva on the other hand was laughing and not really phased by the ordeal, or if she was she hid it well.

The situation then turned even more awkward because Lush decided to sit in the grass, next to her puke, and chat with Diva about how the office intern complains her tasks are boring. Lush went on a high and mighty rant about how the intern shouldn't complain, she should just be pleasant and get the job done. I am thinking to myself: you just vomited on your lunch break, you probably shouldn't be giving anyone advice on office etiquette.

Lush did apologize and tried to redeem herself with me by saying "this poor girl must think I'm crazy" to which I just stared back at her blankly. So Lush and Diva are chatting it up, inches from Lush's pile of vomit, and I find myself not really knowing how to react. I want to bail and get away from this sloppy mess, but then again it's a sunny day, I'm in no hurry to go back inside and I was there first. I start playing with my phone...Diva says something about being in a good mood...I text her, "I was in a great mood until this bitch just puked in front of me." She reads the text, frowns at me and puts her phone away. I then text my bff in Manhattan what happened. She replies, "Eww it's like call in sick or learn how to handle yourself." So true. That was the affirmation I needed to continue to be mean to this girl. I'm not faulting Lush for being hungover in the workplace and needing to puke, we've all been there. I'm faulting Lush for being completely classless, foul and immature.

Diva says I'm being hard on Lush because I've been out of college longer and removed from this type of behavior. I think I'm being insensitive because even when I was 22, hungover out of my mind and suffering at work, I knew better than to be further than a quick sprint from the nearest bathroom. More importantly, I had enough sense not to subject anyone else at work to my hungover condition. So for Lush's sake, I hope she does learn how to handle herself when she decides to drink during the week, or starts using some of her sick days.