3 Guys in a Clown Car

I've spent the last 5 weeks making day trips to Yonkers. Not by choice, but it needed to be done and staying overnight would just be too easy. I had never been to Yonkers before, but after this experience I feel like I know the area pretty well...and the residents.

My visits to Yonkers included going door to door to specific residences and asking for signatures from specific people. Sometimes I was walking through rich neighborhoods with well manicured lawns and Range Rovers in the driveway and other times I was in sketchy apartment buildings with socially inept/Jeffrey Dahmer types shutting the door in my face. Either way, it was always an adventure.

On my last and final trip to Yonkers, I find myself on the border of Mount Pleasant and Pleasantville. I'm making my rounds and approach a house on Old Kensico Road. I start to cut through the front lawn and notice there's a bright red clown car backing out of the driveway. I stop in the grass and wave to the car. Three guys look at me, each with a different expression. I explain my purpose for being on their property and try to win them over.

The guy who I actually need to sign agrees to provide his signature if I give his friend, the driver of the clown car, my phone number. "I don't live around here" I stammer, I live in Saratoga Springs. "Oh I go up there for the races every summer!" the driver answers back excitedly. Shit. The other two guys are egging me on, one saying, "Come on, this is Brad Pitt's brother, give him your number." Ha, nice. Although I take a second look at the driver and he does resemble Brad Pitt, a mix of Brad Pitt and Kevin Bacon...hmmm he is kind of cute. I decide to take one for the team and that we really need this signature, so I give the Brad Pitt look-a-like my private work extension, as if giving my work number is any safer than giving my cell. Either way, I did whatever it took to get the signature I needed, RT would be so proud (RT will be explained in another blog).

The next morning I have a voicemail at work. It goes a little something like this:
"You know who this is? It's the guy in the bright red car that forced you to give him your phone number. Remember me? Give me a call, I wasn't kidding, you're pretty cute. If you come down here on biz once in a while we should definitely hook it up, get it together, I can show you around, take you to eat, I'm harmless."

The fact that he said "I'm harmless" and that I don't even know his name causes me to raise an eyebrow but I was a little intrigued. I decided it was OK to text him to find out more information. I establish his name is Andrew and he asks to hang out the next time I'm in Yonkers. I say I don't know when I'll be traveling again, to which he responds:
"Check it out, will be fun and I usually don't bite! Pretty cool dog too. Talk to you tomorrow, pack like you're staying so you can if you want. If you're not alone say I'm your cousin. xoxo"

I can't help but laugh. Who is this guy? xoxo? I reply with the following:
me: Wow, you're kinda wild and creepy
Andrew: Not so much, and you're republican
me: How do you know I'm republican?
Andrew: The same way you know I'm not a killer and just might take me up on my offer for tomorrow night. I just can tell. Turns me on a bit.

Wow. I'm speechless. But at least I can rest assured I'm done traveling and won't be bumping into this guy anytime soon, unless he really does come up to Saratoga for the races.